Friday, June 25th, 2010

Warning signs of a cheating husband

One of the world’s leading dating experts has revealed a definitive guide for women to spot the vital signs of a cheating husband.

Rochelle Peachey, who has dated over 2000 men on both sides of the Atlantic as research for two best-selling books, believes there are ten universal tell-tale signs that all women should know.

The subject of infidelity was in the news again this week, as Take That star Mark Owen confessed that he has had ten affairs behind his wife’s back. The revelation follows rumours that both Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni have been cheating on each other, as well as the recent breakup of Cheryl and Ashley Cole and very public fall from grace for Tiger Woods.

Rochelle Peachey said: “A husband having an affair is likely to be one of the most painful and devastating things that can happen to you. Even the prospect of your husband being unfaithful is painful and extremely disruptive to your everyday wellbeing.

“Statistics say that 85% of women who feel their man is cheating are correct, and 50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right.”

Having dated so extensively in both America and Britain, Peachey knows more than anyone on how to spot a philanderer. From her extensive experience, she claims that women should expect the worse if they can identify with at least of the following signs:

  • A sudden increase in time away from home
  • Sexual interest either decreases or increases dramatically
  • Cheating spouse attends new functions outside of work or wants to go alone
  • Cheating spouse leaves house or goes to other rooms to talk on the mobile
  • Cheating spouse uses computer alone and secretly
  • Cheating spouse asks about your schedule more often than usual
  • Mileage on car is high yet he drives only short distances
  • Mobile phone bills contain calls with long duration
  • Cheating husband has unexplained receipts in wallet
  • Cheating spouse begins to use new or free e-mail account
  • Cheating husbands will usually display significant changes in their grooming

habits, changing aftershaves, joining the gym, getting a new hairstyle, frequent bathing and buying new underwear

Peachey said: “As long as women tolerate infidelity on the part of their husband, then he will likely take advantage of it. Think about the old “seven year itch” and how the fact that even in times when marriage was deemed to be more sacred than it is now, a husband’s inclinations toward being unfaithful after a period of marriage was so pronounced that it merited its own name.”

Peachey believes that monogamy in marriage is becoming an increasingly rare ideal, and that some long term relationships can even flourish when one or both partners have affairs. She said: “If an affair makes the cheating spouse realise that the grass really isn’t greener on the other side, or allows the cheated upon to take a good look at the state of the relationship and maybe face the fact they shoulder some of the blame, it can bring the couple closer and maybe for the first time they can communicate and begin to heal the wounds.”

From Peachey’s experience, in almost all cases of marital infidelity, something is wrong in the marriage. “Either the husband or the wife is unhappy; someone’s needs are not being met”, she said.

“A man needs to be desired and appreciated. Men, either through nature, nurture or both, express themselves sexually. It’s a primal need and if it is not satisfied, a marriage is in deep trouble, if a wife isn’t prepared to take this on board, she can expect he will almost certainly stray.

“So many men and women have no idea that anything is wrong in the relationship and if they don’t know, they can’t fix it. In my opinion, a happy couple don’t cheat. They will look, they will fantasize but that’s as far as it goes.  For others, unfortunately, it goes further.”

Rochelle is the founder of international dating site, for Brits and Americans looking for love.

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