Archive for July, 2010

July 30th, 2010

Diary of a Scammer. The last edition (updated)

Diary of a Scammer.

Today, one of my members received an email from an African scammer, she forwarded it to admin here at ILYA and he was immediately deleted from the site. But as an experiment and to show people just how these scammers operate, I decided I would have some fun with him. He started out as Cupid 73 and now he is Craig. As you will see, in his first email to “Jennifer” (me) he talks about an inheritance he is coming into, love, marriage, a dying mother and the all important charity work he is undertaking.  All this, to a complete stranger!  I wondered how many emails it would take before he asked me for money?  As you read our email exchanges, you will see that he hit me up for money in record time. Or maybe I am being super skeptical, perhaps he really does love me and wants to marry me even though he has never seen me and has no idea who I am!

So here we go, into the email world of a Nigerian scammer, hold on to your hats and your wallet people. Please not, I haven’t corrected the spelling and grammar, you are seeing the emails just as they came through.

This is the original email he sent to our female members on and he is just waiting for some poor sucker to take the bait.


Hi baby,we have a lot to share and talk about.If you like me write to my email.I have inheritance so I am looking for someone I can confide in and at the same time be in a serious relationship with him.I feel online dating could be a test for true love so I decided to look online for easy access in finding a match that will hear me out and be pleased with me.I have been looking since April.You will not see my profile here anymore because there are too many people here to talk to so it’s confusing to know which woman is meant for me if I fail to make a decision as to which woman I should choose on this website.I like your profile so email me at my email address if you feel like it.On hot mail I am richiecraig73.I look forward to hearing you love Craig


Date: Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:00:10 -0400
Subject: Why me?

Hi, you wrote me an email on iloveyouraccent
How are you, why did you choose me to correspond?


Craig Richardson

To me

I will have to talk to you so I hope that I can confide in you.I actually have an accent so maybe you will love me more when we start speaking to each other on phone and as we grow older together in this new relationship. I do want to know you better and hopefully we fall in love so that the bond between us now can be stronger.I will not deny that I am able to marry you which is what I am eventually looking for so if you cooperate with me you have found your man.If you believe in Love trust shouldn’t be an issue here and I also hope that you are not scared of commitment.I am looking for love,commitment and trust from you as we continue to talk and know each other better because I HAVE INHERITANCE so I know that we can achieve other financial goals in our lives through this promising relationship if you truly love me and want to be with me.Trust me if you believe in the integrity of love and not scared of commitment,i wouldn’t let you down.I like your profile so I hope that something romantic can come out of my friendship with you and it will be nice to get to know you better.

I am half Swiss half American born in Switzerland.I am 36 years old,single,no kids and a Construction Engineer/Consultant by profession.I have lived in 4 different countries namely Switzerland, Kenya, South Africa and the United State due to the Nature of my Mother’s Job when she was with UNICEF.I am currently doing a contract Job for the United Nations and it is eating me up with little time to rest.I’m temporarily in the Southern region of Nigeria in West Africa in a place called Bayelsa state for work related issue.I am supervising the completion of an ongoing construction project of low cost houses in Bayelsa State,the United Nations granted Bayelsa state Government a loan to construct these houses as a scheme to alleviate poverty in that region so I have been sent here in Bayelsa state to supervise the Construction project.It was my mother that put in my recommendation for this Job Contract,she lives in the In the capital city called Abuja of the Federal Republic of Nigeria were she now owns a motherless baby home after her retirement from UNICEF.I spend time with her in Abuja city on weekends and then I fly back to Bayelsa for my Job during week days.She is terribly suffering from a serious ovarian cancer and according to her doctors she is going to die in few weeks.I even just flew her back from a Saudi Arabian hospital were she went for her last chemotherapy treatment.It has really cost us a whole lot of funds trying to revive her so I am left with no choice but to wind up her motherless baby home.She is suffering a lot in pains and we do not have enough funds anymore since her illness took all of her savings and most of my own money.

Anyway,life is still beautiful because after her burial I shall have my inheritance.Also,the United Nations gave me my check when I was coming to Africa and I have that with me which I will cash as soon as I am done with my Contract Job in 3 weeks from now.I want to buy a Big house,settle down and set up my own construction company in the future.I wouldn’t settle for less so I am looking for a loving ,caring and comfortable woman that can assist me in getting my inheritance and then we get married.I need her support in facilitating the procedures for my inheritance claim and then I will transfer it into the United States and then get married to her if she is in love with me.Maybe you are the one for me because I like you and I guess that is why I have opened up very much.

Yours Sincerely,


Oh wow, you have been through so much, I feel guilty complaining about such trivial things when you have had to bear so much sorrow. I wonder what brought you to me, fate maybe? I am a happy woman but a little lonely, my last relationship broke up 6 months ago and so I just get up and go to work each day and hope I will meet someone to make me complete again which is why I joined the website. I have only been there for 5 days and now you found me.




My darling Jennifer,i am glad that you read and understood my previous email.I am yet to have children of my own.Right now,i’m focusing on the things that I have to do concerning my inheritance and I want to find my wife and also focus on my career.I am ready to treat you just how I would treat the woman of my dreams if you are serious.My letter to you contains the basics about me but,you can still ask me questions on anything you want to know about me and I will tell you.

I was sent from New York to West Africa in May due to my Contract Job with the United Nation and I would complete my Contract Job in 3weeks from now,my mother was the one that put in a recommendation for me and I got this contract Job,she did that to draw me closer to her now that she at the point of death.I want us to continue to talk,be involved in a serious relationship based on commitment and plan for our meeting.I will have a new status due to my inheritance so I want a start towards a brand new life with you.If you are serious about supporting me and you have the ability to assist me in getting my inheritance I will marry you and be a loving husband that will care of your needs and heart desires.My father comes from New York,i was in Manhattan for a few weeks for my Job Orientation.I was renting a house back in the United States but now I intend buying a house.I’m Swiss and for sure I also want to buy a house in Switzerland because it is a beautiful place to go to during vacation,at least I can trace my root and be more familiar with my people because I left Switzerland when I was only 6 years old.

If you want to continue to talk with me I can create time for us to chat online if you have either msn or yahoo messenger.Or,do you want to call me on my cell phone?We can even text each other. My cell phone number is +234-7081164908 or 011-234-7081164908,the +234 is the country code and the rest of the number is my cell phone number.

Falling Hearts,


Craig, I am so sorry for your personal struggles, you have tried so hard to be good man. I cannot call internationally on my phone at present, what do you need for me to do, I dont understand? I feel a connection to you, its strange, I dont even know you.
are you OK, is it safe where you are/ Shall I get a calling card so I can call you?
Let me know


My dear,maybe you are my soul mate,the one I have been looking for or maybe we are meant for each other in our destiny that is why you feel a strong connection to me.I need you and I like you as well so I hope that you will take me serious because I want you to see reasons with me.First of all,there is nothing as good as having a supportive woman in ones life.I will not deny that I spoke to other people before I found you but,nothing came out of it.To me they seem like gold diggers and the reason why I say this is because they don’t want to stand by me and help me get my inheritance.I also know that behind/beside every successful man there is a woman who helped and stood by him when he was in need.I was once engaged,she left me for a prince in Saudi Arabia.I am looking for that woman that will stand by me,that way I will be happy to know that she wants to help me achieve my goals in life and become my life partner.I am 37 and just told you my age because I believe age does not matter in a relationship,what matters the most is their ATTRACTION,TRUST AND TRUE FEELINGS towards each other.It is what you tell me that I will believe and accept because trust is the most important thing in a relationship.If there is no trust,love will never set in and anybody or anything could come in between us.

I RECEIVED A PHONE CALL ABOUT MY MOTHER so I have to rush to the hospital.I have to make arrangements for her burial which is the most important thing now,we are together in this if you agree so lets do things step by step.I do not have enough funds to do these things because my mother’s health medications fleeced a whole lot out of me.The banks here are not giving me a loan to do the little things that I need to do concerning my mother’s burial because I am not a citizen of this country in Africa,i only came here to work and life’s reality has brought to my mother’s death so I am stuck with the responsibility of burying her and making arrangements for my inheritance proceedings so that I can claim it all.We can have a deal because I need you to be there for me.How much percentage do you want from my inheritance for a loan from you?I am ready to pay this price to reciprocate the love I am requesting from you.After her burial,her will be read out by her lawyer so I will know exactly what my inheritance worth is.

I am an only child so I am very sure my finances will spring up and be a blast after my mother’s burial and the procedures for my inheritance are over.I will love to always hear your voice and talk to you some more so we can get to know each other better,buy a phone card while I wait for your call..



Good morning
I am so sorry about your mother, it’s so sad , what exactly do you need for me to do to help you ?
Stay strong and you will get through
J x


Jennifer you talk about how fate has brought us together and how much connection you feel towards me and yet you cannot read in between the lines or understand my email.MY MOTHER HAS DIED.I have to bury my mother and there may be some charges that I have to pay concerning the procedures to my inheritance claim and I do not have enough funds to do these things.I need you to love me so that from the bottom of your heart you can financially assist me in completing these task and I will marry you.If you call me I will be able to explain better to you…


What must I do ?
J x


On Jul 29, 2010, at 9:02 PM, Craig Richardson

If you send it today I will be able to pick it up tomorrow.I will have to transfer my inheritance out of here after the procedures are over so,i may need a Bank account information from you and your consent to proceed.As soon as it is transferred then I will fly out of here to come Join you over there and then we get married.


Ok this is so fast give me details x

On Jul 30, 2010, at 6:45 AM, Craig Richardson

Dear Jennifer,this is what I kindly need you to do for me.I plan to bury her next week so I am already making arrangements for a space for her at the cementary,i have to buy a casket and pay up a few medical bill and a charge at the mortuary.All this is going to cost me a total of 14,000USD and all I have with me is about 11,000USD so,if you send 3,000USD to me via western union money transfer or money gram it will be enough for me to bury my mother.It is safe and reliable to send money to me through western union or money gram as long as you do not loose the transaction details that you will give to me.You will need my Full name and address to complete this Transaction.For me to be able to pick up this funds after you’ve sent it,i will need your full name,address,telephone number,the Money Transfer Control Number(MTCN),a test question and an answer..Please find my details below.

Name:       Craig Richardson
Address:    45 Nnamdi Azikiwe way,
Telephone: +234-7081164908.

After my mother’s Burial I will see my mother’s will and have a meeting with my mother’s lawyer concerning my inheritance.I will let you know about the information and every move we need to make to get my inheritance transfer into the U.S.A. I will be able to come and be with you in August. Thanks for looking out for me..I love you


I can send it to your mothers lawyer maybe?

From: Craig Richardson <>
Date: July 30, 2010 6:59:12 AM EDT
To: <>
Subject: RE: DETAILS..

You can send it to me,it is safe and you don’t even know my mother’s lawyer,i have to introduce him to you. You can email him if you want, his name is Ben and his email address is

I did email the Lawyer and I am awaiting his reply which no doubt will be full of praise for this wonderful man and of course it will be safe to send money to him. Doesn’t every Lawyer you know have a yahoo email? While I am awaiting the Lawyers response which we all know is ‘Craig” himself, I ask you all this question, Who on earth would fall for this blatant in your face scam? Yet women do, I did a radio interview with a women in England who wired $100,000  in a 3 month period to a  man she had never met. He fed her a sob story about his child being sick and how he needed cash to pay the doctors so she didn’t die. She had never met the man, what on earth possessed her to part with all her saving? Two words spring to mind, common sense, obviously she had none and she couldn’t have had any friends either, because someone would have told her she was crazy to part with cash to a stranger. Ok, I will update further when the Lawyer gets back to me, until then, I’ll gather my $3,000 and get ready to go to Western Union!!!  Lol.

I will update this as further emails arrive.

So, here is the email I sent to his Lawyer with a yahoo email address. I hope you like my full name.

Subject: Craig
Date: Friday, July 30, 2010, 11:16 AM

Dear Sir
Craig has asked me to send him some money for his Mothers funeral, is it safe to do so? Shall I send it to you as I dont want to be a victim of fraud although he does sound sincere and I do want to help

Sincerely Jennifer Klondike-Bar.

Here is the reply.

From: Benedict Ojei <>
Date: July 30, 2010 2:57:18 PM EDT
To: widdle doddle <>
Subject: Re: Craig

How are you doing Jennifer,
I am very surprise to see your email. I’m the lawyer to Mrs Elizabeth Zwick-Richardson and I know Craig,he has been in our country now for a few months and he is the only child and heir apparent to Elizabeth Z.Richardson .It is so unfortunate that he is presently mourning his Mother.You are a very lucky woman to know him.He will be very rich so take advantage of this opportunity.In fact I his lawyer is very grateful to God that he is now my client because he is worth over 47 million United State dollars.I want my own share of the money for my services so I will do my Job to the best of my knowledge to assist him and ensure that he gets what rightfully belongs to him. Do not tell him this until after his mothers funeral.You can send the money for his mother’s funeral to me if you feel more comfortable dealing with me..You are in safe hands and whatever your interest is in this deal I will cooperate with you.

Yours Faithfully,

And another email from my new man.. Oh lucky me.

Name:       Craig Richardson
Address:    45 Nnamdi Azikiwe way,
Telephone: +234-7081164908…

He has just told me about you,he seems to love you very much and I think you also love him.You both should always trust each other.Working according to my directions and we all will benefit.The above detail is correct so you can use the same detail above but just change his name to my name(Benedict Ojei) and I will personally pick up the funds tomorrow and give it to him for his mother’s funeral.After the burial you and I can talk one on one for the rest of the details in her will..Get back to me ASAP for further correspondence.

Best Regards,

The saga continues…….


Subject: Re: DETAILS..

Date: Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:49:18 -0400


It seems you are not telling me everything , now I am sad

On Fri, Jul 30, 2010 at 3:02 PM, Craig Richardson> > wrote:



Date: Sat, 31 Jul 2010 09:19:54 -0400
Subject: Re: DETAILS..
From: To:

I tried to call you, what happened to the line?



On Sat, Jul 31, 2010 at 9:29 AM, Craig Richardson


Please call me Back..


Date: Sat, 31 Jul 2010 09:45:21 -0400
Subject: Re: WE NEED TO TALK
From: To:

Please do not be rude to me, I want to assist you.


From: Craig Richardson <>
Date: July 31, 2010 9:57:08 AM EDT
To: <>

I am not rude to you,it just that the way you talk it doesn’t seem like you care about me.I doubt if you will send the money.Anyway,take care..


On Sat, Jul 31, 2010 at 4:25 AM, Craig Richardson < <wrote:

Morning Jennifer,i hope this meets you well.I think I deserve some explanation from you because I am not happy with the way you treat me so I am quite disappointed in you.You said you will call me.I do not know how you feel or what you really want.I don’t feel you are committed to me and some how you are not sure with your words.You don’t want me to come to you anymore?

What I do not need most in my life right now is games because I have just lost my mother and important things need to be done. I expect from you now is care,love and heart felt attention if you really want me,may be you do not like me that is why you are behaving somehow.I agree that we have been communicating but up till now it is not very good that you have not told me more about you.You don’t talk to me.I no longer go on the website because of you.I know I need you to financially assist me but it is not all about money,love and trust is what matters the most.I don’t want to waste my time falling in love and making future plans with some one who is not with me in spirit.Take good care of yourself,until I hear from you.



Date: July 31, 2010 7:48:30 AM EDT
To: Craig Richardson <>
Subject: Re: You are Breaking my Heart…

Craig, please understand that I have to be sure of you, I have been hurt before. I will get you the money that is no problem as I have just sold my business for a huge amount of money and I will look to you for sound investments. But I must be sure, I am a woman alone and do not want to be a fool.
I spoke to your Attorney and he seems very genuine, so now I feel a little better. Why dont I come to see you next week and bring the money with me, would you like me to do that? I can take care of you. Sorry for the way you feel, I didnt mean to add to your pain.
You are a shining light in my life.
I want to say Yorak Hunt, -its Geman, where my Grandfather came from and it means special love.
Get back to me quickly please let me know if I should come to you or just send the cash.

Jenny xxx


Date: July 31, 2010 10:30:29 AM EDT
To: Craig Richardson <>
Subject: Re: WE NEED TO TALK

I will send the money to your Attorney as this is safer for me. I hope you understand.


Now he’s doing me a favor and letting me send the money.

From: Craig Richardson <>
Date: July 31, 2010 10:46:20 AM EDT
To: <>

Alright and that’s fine,he will notify me when you send it.Also,please keep me inform of any further discussion you may have with Mr Ben..Thanks very much!!


I’m getting bored with this now and its time to tell him hid fortune….

Date: July 31, 2010 11:46:42 AM EDT
To: Craig Richardson <>
Subject: Re: WE NEED TO TALK

You disgusting Nigerian scam artist! Do you really believe that I would send an ignorant scammer like you a dollar, this will be on the internet along with your phone number and email address which I know you will change immediately. Its been fun playing along with you. You are the scum of the earth and you should rot in hell.

I’m sure I will get a some nonsense reply, bit this was just to show you the nonsense these people write and that some people still fall for this.

That’s my 72 hours with a Nigerian Scammer. If anyone falls for this nonsense they should check themselves in to a mental hospital as soon as possible.

Update, This idiot is even on twitter trying to scam people.

July 28th, 2010
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Everyone deserves to be happy


Everyone deserves to be happy and in these lean economic time being alone can seem especially stressful. The comforting feeling of having a partner to celebrate your highs or rub your shoulders when it all becomes too much to bear evokes a powerful emotion in both men and women.

I wrote two books ten years ago when the Internet was in its infancy and dating via the personals was really blind dating.

Eat your Lonely Heart out outlines my exploits as I placed a personal Ad in a London paper and met 700 men.

My 1,000 Americans is based on the same criteria but I met American men in several States across the USA.

It was a tough gig but I did have a lot of fun along the way and nothing terrible happened to me as I made sure I was safe at all times, something that is paramount when meeting new people.

There are many millions of Singles in the world and if they are happy that way, good luck to them, but most of us want to find a significant other and now the Internet is here there is no need to go out and meet someone on the old fashioned blind date. The world is available to you if you are not meeting the sort of people you can relate to in the local bar or club maybe its time to think outside the box and go global.

If you’ve been single for a while, tired of the bar scene and with well meaning friends trying to hook you up, why not try ILOVEYOURACCENT.COM?  We offer a twist on the regular dating sites as here you could meet someone from across the pond or in your City or State.  Countless times I was asked if I could introduce friends in the UK to friends in the USA and vice versa. We Brits have a thing for the Americans and of course the Yanks love the way we speak hence the name of the site ILOVEYOURACCENT.COM.

When you sign up for your 24-hour free trial, members may use all the premium features like Instant message, private chat and email. We also have a unique feature where members can record their accent.  Create a catchy screen name, write a clever profile and away you go.  Upload a recent photo and get dating. Our site is more personal than many of the larger faceless corporations and we are here if you need any help writing our profile or uploading your photo and the Ask Rochelle is there for any dating or relationship questions you may have. We also welcome suggestions and tips for improving the site.

Key points to remember when joining an online dating site are

Make sure your photo is recent and of you alone, no nephews of fluffy cats

Keep your profile upbeat and positive, don’t mention that you can’t pay your rent or you hate your boss.

Don’t lie, about anything, especially if you want to genuinely meet someone.  It will only come back to bite you.

ILOVEYOURACCENT.COM is proud to announce that all our members are genuine. No fake profiles to make you sign up, just real likeminded people looking for romance or friendship across the pond or maybe a little closer.

Join today don’t just say I Love Your Accent, be a part of it.

July 28th, 2010
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The Law of Attraction is Action

The Law of Attraction is Action

If you really want to know what the secret to meeting others is, I’ll tell you.  Here’s the real secret:  It doesn’t matter which method or methods you use.  What matters is that you do something!

That’s it – that’s the secret.  It’s not enough to read about ideas, talk about them or even visualise them – you have to actually do something.

It’s a bit like looking for a job – you can wish for, hope for, talk about, dream about what job you want.  But to make it happen you have to get out there, look for the jobs and go for it.  You’ve got to figure out what job you might enjoy, you may have to do a bit of research on the company or the type of job, you may have to learn some skills, you’ll have to contact someone and then you actually have to show up for the interview.

Shopping for a potential mate isn’t really all that different.  Here are a few suggestions:

  • Get out and do things you enjoy. Plan ahead – put some dates in your diary.  It’s so easy to think you’ll do something and then never get around to doing it.
  • Think “abundance” and not “scarcity”.  Deliberately increase the flow of people in your life – stretch your normal limits a bit.  Go for volume – kiss lots of frogs.  And don’t make the mistake of trying to make a relationship work because of a scarcity mentality or settle for a “better-than-nothing” relationship.
  • Expand your comfort zone and try new things.  One of the most successful ways of meeting people is through your friends so ask your friends what activities they enjoy – and go along with them to try something new out.
  • Get clarity about what sort of relationship you want.  Do you want friends at the moment to go to events with, do you want to date but not settle down, or do you want a committed relationship? There is no right and wrong type of relationship – as long as you are clear and you convey that. Nothing worse than two people being together with very different ideas about the relationship – at some point it will come to a head.  Better to avoid that and be clear right from the start.
  • Don’t give up what is important to you or put the rest of your life on hold in your quest for love.  Go on with your career, your friendships, your hobbies and activities or you may come to resent your search for your soul mate.
  • Be careful to avoid the dating binge-purge cycle where you first starve yourself of going out and then you go into a mad frenzy and go out so much that you burn out and lose interest all together.  Try to keep a balance in your work – looking for love life.

No more excuses now.  Even if it feels a bit daunting do as one of my favorite writers suggests “Just lean into it” (Jack Canfield):

“Oftentimes, success happens when you just lean into it – when you make yourself open to opportunities and are willing to do what it takes to pursue it further -without a contract, without a promise of success, without any expectation whatsoever.  You just start.  You lean into it.  You see what it feels like. And you find out if you want to keep going – instead of sitting on the sidelines deliberating, reflecting and contemplating”


Susanne Jorgensen is a psychologist, writer and professional coach who helps singles all over the world attract their ideal partner and guest blogger for I love your accent. She is the owner of The Singles Gym (, an online resource for singles wanting to feel great about themselves, create successful lives and attract their ideal relationship.

For a free Strategy Session (£497 value) to help you get clear about what’s stopping you from attracting your ideal partner email her on: and write “Strategy Session” in the subject line and she will contact you

July 28th, 2010
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But I Can’t Seem To Meet Anyone!

But I Can’t Seem To Meet Anyone!

One of my many single friends was complaining to me the other day about how hard it was to meet people and I made the mistake of suggesting a whole list of things he could be doing.  It was a mistake because he spent the whole time trying to convince me that every idea I suggested wasn’t going to work.

Over the years, I’ve lost track of the number of time I’ve suggested to singles what they could do to meet others and only to have them respond by trying to convince me that:

  • Each idea, for whatever reason, was a bad idea
  • Each idea, for whatever reason, hadn’t worked in the past
  • Each idea, for whatever reason, wouldn’t work in the future

And once they’ve said their bit, they let out this huge sigh while uttering the words “There are just no good ways to meet people”

Now I know there are tons of ways to meet people, yet so many of you seem to be using your time and energy to convince me (and yourself too) that there really are no good ways to meet people! What on earth is going on here?

I’ll tell you what’s going on:  It’s a story that many of you cling to because of fear and ambivalence – often of which you are not consciously aware of.

You see, by relying on this ‘story’ you can safely stay in your comfort zone and you can avoid:

  • Falling in love
  • Being rejected
  • Experiencing all those other ‘vulnerabilities’ that love entails

And further more it allows you:

  • To stay single but hopeful
  • To stay in the safe zone of being single with the excitement of looking
  • To relinquish taking any responsibility for being single

If you find yourself in this group of singles, saying you want to meet someone but then rejecting or dismissing all the suggestions that come your way, then I’d suggest you take some time to examine your reasons or excuses.

You may be either, deep down fearful of being rejected or hurt or you are ambivalent about what the ‘cost’ of a relationship might be for you – you may fear you have to give up something that you hold equally valuable.

If you don’t explore what’s really going on for you – you could be caught in the “yes, but” cycle for a long time which would really be sad because your ideal partner may be closer than you think.


Susanne Jorgensen is a psychologist, writer and professional coach who helps singles all over the world attract their ideal partner. She is the owner of The Singles Gym (, an online resource for singles wanting to feel great about themselves, create successful lives and attract their ideal relationship.

For a free Strategy Session (£497 value) to help you get clear about what’s stopping you from attracting your ideal partner email her on: and write “Strategy Session” in the subject line and she will contact you

July 27th, 2010
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DIY Fixes for those Dating Insecurities.

DIY Fixes for those Dating Insecurities.

Here are eight dating insecurities women sometimes suffer. Before you get all up in arms about women being confident, strong, sexually secure beings and why would anyone dare suggest otherwise?!, let’s acknowledge that it’s normal for women and men to have stressy thoughts when it comes to the emotional complexities of relationships. If you didn’t, you’d be a robot.

These are DIY-fixes; no man necessary. The dating gods help those who help themselves!

1. Your insecurity: He might not call you after a date.

Your fix: Wait two days, and then call him. (If you phone 15 minutes after a date, you risk looking like a lady who boils bunnies. If you wait a week, you risk him doubting your interest.) His quick response (or lack thereof) will give you your answer – no need to agonize longer than necessary.

2. Your insecurity: He might just want you for sex.

Your fix: Use him just for sex. If you’re not down with that – don’t sleep with him. (Seriously, this one’s a no-brainer.) If you’re really worried that he might only be interest in banging, then have a conversation before you sneak into the sheets explaining what you want and expect (monogamy? breakfast in bed? $1.7 million?) from the person you’re sleeping with.

3. Your insecurity: He’s dating other women.

Your fix: Date other men. Please, I am begging you. Until you’ve both committed to each other completely, you should not give away your exclusivity (women do this constantly to their great detriment). Now, if you’re in a committed relationship and you think he’s playing you – see number five below.
insecurity: He’s not that interested.

Your fix: Time for some tough-love. If a guy is interested in you, he shows it. By calling you (before midnight), introducing you to his friends and showing up when he says he will. So if you’re insecure because he’s not doing these things and he may not be interested, you worry with good reason. It’s time to get waaay less interested in him. Cut off your attention and see how he responds – you’ll get an accurate reading on his level of interest within 48 hours of radio silence.

5. Your insecurity: He’s cheating on you.

Your fix: First, ask yourself if you have a good reason to worry about this. Is there someone in particular who concerns you? Has he cheated in the past? Or are your hormones causing you to imagine a telenovela’s worth of betrayal and abandonment for no good reason? If you have legit concerns, talk to him. Immediately. If you still feel uneasy, it could be time to take a breather from the relationship – for your sake and his.

6. Your insecurity: You’re not satisfying him in bed.

Your fix: Listen for his reaction, watch his face and feel his, um, response to what you’re doing. Then ask for feedback – both before the big event (with flirtatious, sexy questions on what exactly he likes) and during the deed (with more subtle yes/no, harder/softer, thisaway/thataway cues). Also encourage him to let you know what’s working and what’s not – that conversation on its own will be a huge turn-on.

7. Your insecurity: He’s not attracted to you anymore.

Your fix: There’s nothing less attractive than a girl who’s doubting her hotness. Give yourself a pep talk, some sexy undies and a dose of love from Lady Gaga: “When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old girl,” she says in Rolling Stone magazine. “Then I say, ‘Bitch, you’re Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today.’” Walk the walk, bitches!

8. Your insecurity: Another woman is stealing his attention.

Your fix: Tell him to knock off the flirting in front of you. As Andrea says, he can flirt on his own time. And then try one of these 30 little tricks to get his attention back.

If you have any dating insecurities or any magical fixes, do let us know.

Happy dating.

July 25th, 2010
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England and America are two countries separated by a common language. George Bernard Shaw

Every one knows the obvious words Brits say that have a completely different meaning in the USA and vice versa, but there are others in the English vocabulary that most Americans will not have heard of, so in this blog, I will share some of them with you.

Just to be clear, no one in the UK walks around saying Jolly good, Tally Ho,  and Cor Blimey Guvnor! We don’t all down tools and drink tea at 3 whether we are thirsty or not. Its not always foggy in London town and the last time I wore a cape I was 3. I don’t know the Queen or the tall English bloke that your mum worked with called John. Also, sorry to disappoint but Rhyming slang is hardly ever used, so to all those who believe we go up the Apples and Pears  for a Butchers hook at the trouble and strife’s  threepenny bits  are out of luck.

As always,  feel free to add your own ideas and feedback. Please remember, this is only a bit of fun and not meant to upset or belittle any City, Town or People, so no emails telling me where to go!

Any road – Up north (where they talk funny!!) instead of saying anyway, they say “any road”!
Translation, I don’t like her any road!

Ay-up or Ay Oop, Northern for Hello.

Dodgy – If someone or something is a bit dodgy, it is not to be trusted. Dodgy food should be thrown away at home, or sent back in a restaurant. Dodgy people are best avoided. You never know what they are up to. Dodgy goods may have been nicked (Stolen)

Duck – In and around Leeds you will find older people might call you “duck” in the same way that they might call you “love” or “dear” in other places. Usually pronounced more like “dook”, which rhymes with “book” and preceded with Me, as in Are you alright Me Dook?

Gutted – If someone is really upset by something they might say that they were gutted. Like when you are told that you have just failed your driving test!

Hard – After your 20 pints of lager and a Curry, your average British bloke year old feels hard. Since his male organ has no chance of working at this stage, hard clearly refers to something else – it means he is ready to fight anything or anybody or to take on any bet.  Reference to football song, Come and have a go, if you think you’re hard enough. Translation, Why don’t we have a game of football if you believe you can beat us.

Have –  When in  restaurants with American friends, they would say to the waiter something like “Can I get a refill”. And the waiter would go and get them a refill.
No no no – that’s completely wrong. It’s “Can I HAVE a refill”. Not GET! If you say “Can I GET a refill” in the UK, the waiter will give you a funny look and tell you exactly where to go and GET it – yourself!

Nowt – This is Yorkshire for nothing. Similarly owt is Yorkshire for anything. Hence the expression “you don’t get owt for nowt”. Roughly translated as “you never get anything for nothing”.

Pear shaped – If something has gone pear shaped it means it has become a disaster. It might be preparing a dinner party or arranging a meeting, any of these things can go completely pear shaped. A more recent  description is to say Pete Tong= Wrong. As in, Oh no, its all gone Pete Tong (yes, rhyming slang)

Sorted – When you have fixed a problem and someone asks how it is going you might say “sorted”. It’s also popular these days to say “get it sorted” when you are telling someone to get on with the job

Whinge – Whingers are not popular in any circumstance. To whinge is to whine. We all know someone who likes to whinge about everything.

Wind up – This has a couple of meanings. If something you do is a “wind up” it means you are making fun of someone. However it you are “wound up” it means you are annoyed

July 21st, 2010
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First Date Notes

First Date Notes

There are a few things to remember when you venture out on a first date. These tips can help you especially if you have been out of the dating pool for some time.  You may have the jitters and the nervous tummy, but take a few deep breathes, follow these tips and let them see what they’ve been missing.

Do be positive and up beat don’t allow past relationships to sabotage you. Put all your negativity into a box and lock it up. Think about it, no new date wants to hear how your ex cheated on you or treated you badly. Another major tip is to stay home until you are over your ex, nothing quite so tacky as crying into your soup while out on a first date. Save those tears for your mates, that’s what they are there for. Please be honest, your fibs will only come back to bite you if the date becomes a relationship and you told him you were a Lawyer, they will wonder why you are now working in Top Shop or Macys.
Check your ego at the door and in the words of your mum, be nice, if he/she just isn’t what you had hoped for, see the date through and don’t get discouraged. The best things really are worth waiting for. Manners never go out of style. If there are the dreaded silences, lean in and ask about them.  Most peoples favorite subject is themselves.
Wear something you know you look good in, but don’t wear a “dress cut down to there” at your first meeting and then get angry that he wont look at your face when you speak. Fellas just be smart casual, you know what clothes you look good in. Try to be chatty and friendly even if you know you wont be seeing them again. Don’t worry about being too eager, if he asks you out again and you like him then go for it and guys, if you like her and want to see her, tell her. Game playing and dating by the rules are so last year. Most of all, don’t drink too much, if you are going to regret it later, don’t do it.

July 16th, 2010
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I Love Your Accent, Now Let’s Get Married

I Love Your Accent, Now Let’s Get Married

Think long distance relationships don’t work, do you feel the distance between you and your love would be unbearable? Then do what these online daters did. They got online, got on a plane and got themselves a spouse, all within a few months of signing up on transatlantic dating site I Love Your Accent

It’s not impossible to find true love online these days says Rochelle Peachey founder of I Love Your Accent, in fact 17% of the couples who got married in the USA met on line . The stigma and covertness of finding a partner online has long gone, its no big deal to say yes we met on, on the contrary, its says you are managing your life and actually doing something productive.

Vanessa is a Brit who saw back in November when the site was in its testing stages. “  Jack sent me a flirt and that was it, we chatted on email and then Instant Message, he made a joke about coming to Manchester and I said I would make him dinner, next week he was here, I couldn’t believe it, all the way from California. Three weeks later we were married and I was packing my bags and heading to the sunshine with my new husband.”

Jacqueline is also a Brit who flew to Miami Florida with a friend after a long -term relationship broke down and signed up to I Love Your Accent “just to see what it was all about”. She started chatting to Derek a Brit who lived in Fort Lauderdale, they met for a cocktail, had a wonderful evening and Jacqueline is still there 2 months later. The lovebirds will be getting married in June and both sets of parents are flying in for the ceremony, apparently, life couldn’t be better. “Derek has an American accent now and I love it “ Jacqueline laughs.

Anthony met Julie while on a business trip in Las Vegas. He had already joined while living in London and purposely searched for someone to  have a few drinks with while there. They had been chatting for a while when he told her he was going to be in Vegas the following week and she was ecstatic. ‘I love his accent, the way he says Ant- ony and I say Anthony, my girlfriends are so jealous”.  As the fairytale goes, they fell in love and were married last month in the Little White Wedding Chapel. Anthony is relocating to Vegas and hopes it’s the beginning of a delicious life.

On line dating and stepping outside your comfort zone may not be for everyone but if you do cast your net a little wider across the pond, who knows, you could reel in the man or woman of your dreams and hear that accent permanently. Don’t just say I Love Your accent, be a part of it.

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July 13th, 2010
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Daily Buzz TV show part 2

Video Interview from the Daily Buzz TV show. Not sure why they say it was for my new book. I wrote it several years ago.

July 13th, 2010
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Daily Buzz TV Show part 1