Monday, April 4th, 2011

Is this really the way to meet your Prince? A tongue in cheek 4 step plan to become Royal.

1. Preparing. You want to have the behavior and mannerisms of a princess before you meet your Prince. Taking a How to Be a Princess class will prepare you for necessities such as the proper way to curtsy, wave to your subjects from a horse-drawn carriage, and even drink a spot of tea with your pinkie up. Sure, most of these classes are geared to the pre-school set but you’re never too old to learn.

2. Finding Him. There aren’t a lot of princes residing in the US so you should consider moving to where the largest percentage of princes reside: Europe And with the help of the Internet you can find him on transatlantic dating site ILoveyouraccent.com, tell him Rochelle sent you.

3. Wowing Him. When you finally meet your Prince  William ,Charming or Bob  (Princes have all kinds of names these days) remember what you learned in your Princess class. Don’t let your behavior be common. Don’t dress trampy or come on too strong. He doesn’t need to know how many guys you’ve slept with or that you like  being a dominatrix. Princes like to seem down to earth, but stay away from any hint of sexual impropriety because they don’t want to take the chance of harming the family jewels and neither do you, wink wink.

4. Tying Him Down (Not Literally of Course) Be patient. One thing we’ve learned from watching Prince William and Kate’s courtship over several years? You’re in it for the long haul and loyalty is everything to royalty. Another tip? Don’t wear that Tiara  you got on sale at your local Claire’s to class, out to dinner, or even to bed. You don’t want to look too obvious. Save that for the wedding night. Actually you won’t need it because by then you’ll have a real crown.

Most people end up having to kiss a lot of frogs that don’t turn into princes. Kate Middleton got lucky, though perhaps it wasn’t just luck. Maybe she had her own How to Marry a Prince plan.

Ta Ta , more tea?

If you have yours , do let us know.

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One Response

April 4, 2011
England Fan

Great article. Thank you.