Do you treat men like a box of Smarties? Indulging in them whenever you feel the need? If so, you are in danger of being a Man Snacker. Cosmo investigates….
Sitting at work, Wendy Norris, 26, picks up her mobile and sends a message to a guy she is dating. She then types in a flirty email to her work colleague and pokes her ex on Facebook. Wendy is a typical man snacker – a woman who has various men in her life to keep her entertained as and when she needs them. “I always have more than three men on the go,” she explains, grinning. “I have one man who I go on dates with, another who I sleep with and a few on the side for innocent flirting. I don’t see what the fuss is all about. Why have just one man when you can have loads?”
The type of women who depends on male attention and has multiple dating partners has been coined a “man snacker”. However, will eating up all this attention just leave you with a stomach ache? “When your needs are being met by multiple men, a bit like snacking, you never get hungry enough to go out looking for a real meal,” explains Michelle Fiordaliso, co-author of Everything You Always Wanted to know about Ex. “The focus on these quick fixes takes the focus away from looking for a long-term partner. A decade can pass very quickly and all of a sudden you’re not sure why you’re the only single girl on the block.”
Wendy is a prime example of a man snacker. She is constantly wondering if she can do any better. “No matter what man I am with, or how sexy, fun, intelligent or great in bed they are, I’ve always got one eye open to check there isn’t someone better/hotter/richer around the corner. I suppose in a way I’ve realised Mr Perfect doesn’t exist, so by dating loads of men I get all the good bits of each of them, without any of the bad bits.”
Dating expert Rochelle Peachey sees the danger up ahead for Wendy and others like her. “She may overlook someone who is completely right for her, just because she is keeping her options open. It’s like looking for a new pair of shoes. You may find one that you love, but are worried there might be a better pair in the shop across the road. However, when you realise [there isn’t], you come back to find that first pair of shoes has been sold.”
Alice Hill, 25, admits to being a man snacker for different reasons. “My confidence was really low after I got dumped by my boyfriend of two years, and so I hit the dating scene with full force. Every time a new man chatted me up, I felt my confidence soar. It was as though with each man who showed interest, I felt more and more sexy and attractive. Now I have lots of different men on the go and can’t bare the thought of getting back into a serious relationship. I love the attention I get from man snacking far too much.”
Man snackers can be easily identified. “More often than not man snackers will wear revealing clothing, be loud and confident, and boast about their conquests to anyone who is listening,” says Peachey. “They are proud of the fact that so many men fancy them and it gives them a false sense of security. I say false, because in the end no man who wants to settle down will put up with his girlfriend seeing lots of other men. By being a man snacker, women putting themselves in a position where men will never respect them will [likely] never find the one.”
So, if you are the type of woman who gorges on lots of different men, but knows deep down you hope to be married with children one day, try reducing your appetite. Fiordaliso says, ”If someone notices they’re a man snacker, they have to train themselves to stop looking for a tasty treat of a guy who’s not going to supply that much long-term nourishment and start to look towards the type of men who are more like slow-burning carbs – maybe not as exciting as a cupcake at first glance, but better for you, and ultimately not going to make you sick in the end.”
Louise Paynter, 28, ditched her man-snacking ways after realising she was only attracting men who would never settle. “I had lots of different men I was flirting with but, about six months down the line, I realised none of them could offer me anything more than just a quick kiss or romp,” she explains. One day, realisation struck. “I needed to clear out my life, so I closed my computer, stopped sending texts and turned down dates. A month later, I met the man of my dreams and we’re now getting married. Snacking was fun while it lasted but in the end I wanted something a bit more fulfilling.”
Tiffany Wright
Rochelle Peachey is a dating expert who has set up the site iloveyouraccent.com.
Are you a man snacker?
http://www.cosmopolitan.com.au/are_you_a_man_snacker.htm
Do you treat men like a box of Smarties? Indulging in them whenever you feel the need? If so, you are in danger of being a Man Snacker. Cosmo investigates….
Sitting at work, Wendy Norris, 26, picks up her mobile and sends a message to a guy she is dating. She then types in a flirty email to her work colleague and pokes her ex on Facebook. Wendy is a typical man snacker – a woman who has various men in her life to keep her entertained as and when she needs them. “I always have more than three men on the go,” she explains, grinning. “I have one man who I go on dates with, another who I sleep with and a few on the side for innocent flirting. I don’t see what the fuss is all about. Why have just one man when you can have loads?”
The type of women who depends on male attention and has multiple dating partners has been coined a “man snacker”. However, will eating up all this attention just leave you with a stomach ache? “When your needs are being met by multiple men, a bit like snacking, you never get hungry enough to go out looking for a real meal,” explains Michelle Fiordaliso, co-author of Everything You Always Wanted to know about Ex. “The focus on these quick fixes takes the focus away from looking for a long-term partner. A decade can pass very quickly and all of a sudden you’re not sure why you’re the only single girl on the block.”
Wendy is a prime example of a man snacker. She is constantly wondering if she can do any better. “No matter what man I am with, or how sexy, fun, intelligent or great in bed they are, I’ve always got one eye open to check there isn’t someone better/hotter/richer around the corner. I suppose in a way I’ve realised Mr Perfect doesn’t exist, so by dating loads of men I get all the good bits of each of them, without any of the bad bits.”
Dating expert Rochelle Peachey sees the danger up ahead for Wendy and others like her. “She may overlook someone who is completely right for her, just because she is keeping her options open. It’s like looking for a new pair of shoes. You may find one that you love, but are worried there might be a better pair in the shop across the road. However, when you realise [there isn’t], you come back to find that first pair of shoes has been sold.”
Alice Hill, 25, admits to being a man snacker for different reasons. “My confidence was really low after I got dumped by my boyfriend of two years, and so I hit the dating scene with full force. Every time a new man chatted me up, I felt my confidence soar. It was as though with each man who showed interest, I felt more and more sexy and attractive. Now I have lots of different men on the go and can’t bare the thought of getting back into a serious relationship. I love the attention I get from man snacking far too much.”
Man snackers can be easily identified. “More often than not man snackers will wear revealing clothing, be loud and confident, and boast about their conquests to anyone who is listening,” says Peachey. “They are proud of the fact that so many men fancy them and it gives them a false sense of security. I say false, because in the end no man who wants to settle down will put up with his girlfriend seeing lots of other men. By being a man snacker, women putting themselves in a position where men will never respect them will [likely] never find the one.”
So, if you are the type of woman who gorges on lots of different men, but knows deep down you hope to be married with children one day, try reducing your appetite. Fiordaliso says, ”If someone notices they’re a man snacker, they have to train themselves to stop looking for a tasty treat of a guy who’s not going to supply that much long-term nourishment and start to look towards the type of men who are more like slow-burning carbs – maybe not as exciting as a cupcake at first glance, but better for you, and ultimately not going to make you sick in the end.”
Louise Paynter, 28, ditched her man-snacking ways after realising she was only attracting men who would never settle. “I had lots of different men I was flirting with but, about six months down the line, I realised none of them could offer me anything more than just a quick kiss or romp,” she explains. One day, realisation struck. “I needed to clear out my life, so I closed my computer, stopped sending texts and turned down dates. A month later, I met the man of my dreams and we’re now getting married. Snacking was fun while it lasted but in the end I wanted something a bit more fulfilling.”
Tiffany Wright
Rochelle Peachey is a dating expert who has set up the site iloveyouraccent.com.