One of my many single friends was complaining to me the other day about how hard it was to meet people and I made the mistake of suggesting a whole list of things he could be doing. It was a mistake because he spent the whole time trying to convince me that every idea I suggested wasn’t going to work.
Over the years, I’ve lost track of the number of time I’ve suggested to singles what they could do to meet others and only to have them respond by trying to convince me that:
Each idea, for whatever reason, was a bad idea
Each idea, for whatever reason, hadn’t worked in the past
Each idea, for whatever reason, wouldn’t work in the future
And once they’ve said their bit, they let out this huge sigh while uttering the words “There are just no good ways to meet people”
Now I know there are tons of ways to meet people, yet so many of you seem to be using your time and energy to convince me (and yourself too) that there really are no good ways to meet people! What on earth is going on here?
I’ll tell you what’s going on: It’s a story that many of you cling to because of fear and ambivalence – often of which you are not consciously aware of.
You see, by relying on this ‘story’ you can safely stay in your comfort zone and you can avoid:
Falling in love
Being rejected
Experiencing all those other ‘vulnerabilities’ that love entails
And further more it allows you:
To stay single but hopeful
To stay in the safe zone of being single with the excitement of looking
To relinquish taking any responsibility for being single
If you find yourself in this group of singles, saying you want to meet someone but then rejecting or dismissing all the suggestions that come your way, then I’d suggest you take some time to examine your reasons or excuses.
You may be either, deep down fearful of being rejected or hurt or you are ambivalent about what the ‘cost’ of a relationship might be for you – you may fear you have to give up something that you hold equally valuable.
If you don’t explore what’s really going on for you – you could be caught in the “yes, but” cycle for a long time which would really be sad because your ideal partner may be closer than you think.
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Susanne Jorgensen is a psychologist, writer and professional coach who helps singles all over the world attract their ideal partner. She is the owner of The Singles Gym (www.TheSinglesGym.com), an online resource for singles wanting to feel great about themselves, create successful lives and attract their ideal relationship.
For a free Strategy Session (£497 value) to help you get clear about what’s stopping you from attracting your ideal partner email her on: Susanne@TheSinglesGym.com and write “Strategy Session” in the subject line and she will contact you
But I Can’t Seem To Meet Anyone!
But I Can’t Seem To Meet Anyone!
One of my many single friends was complaining to me the other day about how hard it was to meet people and I made the mistake of suggesting a whole list of things he could be doing. It was a mistake because he spent the whole time trying to convince me that every idea I suggested wasn’t going to work.
Over the years, I’ve lost track of the number of time I’ve suggested to singles what they could do to meet others and only to have them respond by trying to convince me that:
And once they’ve said their bit, they let out this huge sigh while uttering the words “There are just no good ways to meet people”
Now I know there are tons of ways to meet people, yet so many of you seem to be using your time and energy to convince me (and yourself too) that there really are no good ways to meet people! What on earth is going on here?
I’ll tell you what’s going on: It’s a story that many of you cling to because of fear and ambivalence – often of which you are not consciously aware of.
You see, by relying on this ‘story’ you can safely stay in your comfort zone and you can avoid:
And further more it allows you:
If you find yourself in this group of singles, saying you want to meet someone but then rejecting or dismissing all the suggestions that come your way, then I’d suggest you take some time to examine your reasons or excuses.
You may be either, deep down fearful of being rejected or hurt or you are ambivalent about what the ‘cost’ of a relationship might be for you – you may fear you have to give up something that you hold equally valuable.
If you don’t explore what’s really going on for you – you could be caught in the “yes, but” cycle for a long time which would really be sad because your ideal partner may be closer than you think.
————————————————————————————————————-
Susanne Jorgensen is a psychologist, writer and professional coach who helps singles all over the world attract their ideal partner. She is the owner of The Singles Gym (www.TheSinglesGym.com), an online resource for singles wanting to feel great about themselves, create successful lives and attract their ideal relationship.
For a free Strategy Session (£497 value) to help you get clear about what’s stopping you from attracting your ideal partner email her on: Susanne@TheSinglesGym.com and write “Strategy Session” in the subject line and she will contact you
http://www.iloveyouraccent.com